Sunday, February 13, 2011

Parenting Children from Hard Places and Lying

Parenting is hard!  I am not going to lie, sometimes parenting a child who comes from a difficult background is overwhelming.  Most of our adopted children come from difficult backgrounds.  We have bad days and we have great days.  Some of their habits are more tolerable than others.  One of our girls, adopted at 20 months old, has some significant attachment issues. I would not classify her in the realm of RAD but we do have some work to do together. The orphanage described her as, " obstinate and impatient" It was obvious when reading the reports from the orphanage she was the "black sheep" in the orphanage. Every picture we received of her she was either crying or had no expression. When talking with the orphanage they said, "we did not think we would be able to find a family that would make her happy". There are a lot of things about our daughter's orphanage life I will not share here.

We have come a long way. She has been home for 3 years and the night terrors are not as frequent. She comes to us when she gets hurt and is now allowing us to just sit and love on her. This is wonderful progress. There are new obstacles that appear now and then. Right now I am dealing with lying. Lying to the point that I wonder if she even knows what the truth is. Lying about insignificant things that she would not have gotten in trouble for telling the truth. At first, there was no remorse. Now, at least there is an "I'm sorry" but the lying still continues. I struggle with how to deal with the lying.

I don't have the answer. I am not a perfect parent. I am always learning from others who have walked in my shoes ahead of me. Here are some of them . .

The Post Institute

Empowered to Connect

Here is a video from one of my favorite crazy adoptive moms. You can find her at

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