I am ANGRY!! There, I said it. But I don't feel any better. I don't even know who to be angry at? Myself? God? Other people?
On our current agencies waiting child list there are 27 children with varies medical needs and 68 children waiting that are HIV+. Besides the obvious frustration that so many children are waiting I am actually angry about something else.
It is not fair, life is not fair. Yes, I know that is not a new revelation. Here we are a family who is willing, not only willing but wholeheartedly WANTING to bring more children into our family. Children with medical needs, children who are dying while they are waiting for a family.
So, why am I so angry? Resources! WHY? WHY? could our family not have been blessed with financial resources. Why can't we have a home big enough to fill with more children? Why can't we have a vehicle that will transport more children? WHY? WHY?
We are willing God but how can we? How can we get more than 2-3 children into these small bedrooms. How can we continue to lift our son from his wheelchair in and out of the van so we have seats for more children? How can we get more medical/therapy equipment in this house? Tell me how to do it and I will!
OK, I will stop ranting.