I am ANGRY!! There, I said it. But I don't feel any better. I don't even know who to be angry at? Myself? God? Other people?
On our current agencies waiting child list there are 27 children with varies medical needs and 68 children waiting that are HIV+. Besides the obvious frustration that so many children are waiting I am actually angry about something else.
It is not fair, life is not fair. Yes, I know that is not a new revelation. Here we are a family who is willing, not only willing but wholeheartedly WANTING to bring more children into our family. Children with medical needs, children who are dying while they are waiting for a family.
So, why am I so angry? Resources! WHY? WHY? could our family not have been blessed with financial resources. Why can't we have a home big enough to fill with more children? Why can't we have a vehicle that will transport more children? WHY? WHY?
We are willing God but how can we? How can we get more than 2-3 children into these small bedrooms. How can we continue to lift our son from his wheelchair in and out of the van so we have seats for more children? How can we get more medical/therapy equipment in this house? Tell me how to do it and I will!
OK, I will stop ranting.
I want to say something, but I am speechless...just maybe...do we need to pray for others to open their hearts?; have you already done what God has called you to do?; is he waiting to see how bad you really want it?; is there even an obvious answer to your questions?....then there are those of us (me) that have the extra space, rooms, could maybe afford to adopt more, but prefer to hoard what little time they have for self, in the name of mental sanity. Who knows?? I don't. But God is just and he hears our cries and quiets our anxious souls as well. May God bless your giving heart...with more children?? he he!!
ReplyDeleteYou ranted my same feelings. Thank you for being willing to put in on for all to see. God has continued to provide for us in what He is calling us to do but our home is overtaken with chairs and equipment and there are always more things that would be great for the boys to have, but no room for it. We are building a home for the family we have but due to resources it too will be too small to fit much more than we have now. It mostly will make what we have more usable. I pray that God will provide for you and open the doors for you to bring home more children.
ReplyDeletewe do not have the income or resources either but are parents to 26 kids though only 13 minor kids at home. We never thought we would ever pass a homestudy either years ago..before we first adopted 19 kids ago. Now we have a 2500 sq foot house on two levels with three in wheelchairs (it is crowded) we have 4 to a bedroom except for teens who have own room. Need a new wheelchair ramp (another 3K) and need a van with wheelchair lift (will never happen) and we have no retirement and we are 51. So....oh well. All the kids are WAY better off than if they'd been left in orphanage in Africa or Asia. And many of the adopted kids would be dead if they had not been adopted and brought here for medical care. We love our life though it can be challenging. You know you are greatly attacked by the enemy when you are in God's will and on the "front lines" . I truly believe that is you are lead to add more children to your family that God will open the doors and provide a way. It may not come at time you want or be child you want...but if you are open to whatever He says He will bring them. I would say keep your hearts and minds open to whatever...and keep homestudy current if you can and let anyone and every one know that you are open to different situations. That is how we got our 2 surprise domestic newborn adoptions....onw with Down Syndrome and later one with spina bifida. God bless you and your heart for His kids!! he is well pleased with you!
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