Saturday, May 8, 2010


Why is it when you decide to become transparent about your life it is considered either complaining or boasting? Yes, I have been told I do both!! I am beginning to understand why some families keep their skeletons in the closet. Heaven forbid you let out your frustration about a bad day. If you do it might appear as though you are overwhelmed or complaining. As far as boasting goes, we give ALL GLORY TO GOD for the good works HE is doing through our family.

I am beginning to empathize with families who dare not tell anyone about the crisis their children are having. By the way, none of our children are in crisis! But now, I do understand how a family could let a child in trouble get to the point of a crisis due to fear of judgment from others. I understand that well meaning friends, neighbors, family, and professionals can make judgment from the outside looking in. I think we need to remember that asking for help does not mean we are helpless but resourceful.

Using the old cliché “it’s like comparing apples to oranges”. God created each person/family uniquely and gave each one special gifts and talents. For example, you may look at a person/family and say, “there is no way they can handle that”. More than likely you are basing that judgment on your own personnel experience/gifts/talents. Maybe your gifts and talents are in another area. BUT, have you ever stopped to think maybe God gave that person/family special gifts and talents to handle that specific situation. I think too many times as a society we expect that everyone should fit into the same mold and dare not go outside of what is “normal”.

I could say a lot more about this topic but I will save it for another day. I think very soon I will write more about “not judging a book by its cover” as it relates to large families with children who have special needs. Sometimes life is not pretty but it is always beautiful to God.

Since we are crazy and fearless we are going to continue to be transparent. We feel that God is asking us to be transparent in life so that His works can be glorified. Our only true judgment comes from our Heavenly Father.


  1. Sometimes life is not pretty but it is always beautiful to God.

    That is going to go on my fridge for awhile!

    Thank you for your transparency!

    Judge not lest ye be judged. I have to remind myself of that a lot when I start to worry about "what other people think" of our large family with special needs.

  2. What a shame about the judgmental comments, but I know that it happens. We get many ourselves. What is so sad is that when I have a "bad" day, there are so few I feel I can trust to talk to. Yet how can we encourage and love each other if we can't be transparent. It's frustrating. Thank you for sharing and for being transparent. We need to strengthen each other, not tear each other down.

  3. Becky I really needed to hear those words. The whole issue of transparency and being real about our boys' needs has come back to hurt us a few times and it sure does sting. It would be nice to talk to you sometime and share our challenges, and more importantly, our joys : )