Growing Pains & Hidden Disabilities

For the last year I've been having this internal struggling between keeping my children's lives as normal as possible and at the same time keeping them safe.  I am particularly struggling as my children move into their pre-teen years and their hidden disabilities become more evident. 

I have a daughter who for those looking from the outside see a typically developing 11 year old.  However, if you get to know her a little more you will discover that her social and play skills are that of a 6-7 year old.  Her cognitive skills are at the same level but her decision making skills are even further behind.

Last year it was easy to hold her back a year in the children's program at church.  Our church also has a great program for individuals with developmental disabilities.  Here is where I struggle.  Do I place her in the group for individuals with disabilities or send her to the middle school group with peers her age?

We have always taught our children to treat their siblings and others with respect and dignity.  Our children are taught to help those that need help.  They are taught that God created all people and each one has gifts and talents to share. (sometimes I need to listen to my own lesson)

Here is what I LOVE about my children.  They really do care about each other and want to see each other succeed.  My 12 year old daughter knows that my 11 year old really wants to do what everyone else is doing.  She overheard a conversation between my husband and I and she volunteered to help her sister out if she goes up to middle school. 

So in the fall I will take a big leap of faith and send her to the middle school group knowing she will have the wonderful church staff and a watchful big sister looking after her.

All I Want for Christmas Is . . .

A Sprinter Paratransit Minibus!

Why, you ask do I want such a big expensive vehicle?  

1. There will be a day in the not so distant future that I will not be able to transfer Jacob in and out of our van. 

2.  I am not looking forward to loading and unloading his wheelchair onto the back of our van in the freezing cold snow this winter.  But I will keep doing it until I am in the grave if I have to because I love him that much!

3.  This vehicle will allow us to love 2-3 more children!!  We currently have a 12 passenger van and we have 12 people in our family.  I do a lot with the kids by myself and need to be able to transport them all in one vehicle.

My God is big and I find it a joy to serve him by loving his children, as many as I possibly can. Darren and I are confident that we were created for just a time as this to serve. It is such a blessing to see the miracles God provides for us.  A van such as this would most definitely be a miracle! God is good all the time!

Top Ten Things My Children Have Taught Me - #10

I have been thinking a lot about my kids and how my faith has been increased since they entered my life so I thought I would write down the top ten.

 

 

#10

NEVER use the words "CAN'T" or "WILL NEVER" to describe my kids
 

Remember this little guy?  At 10 months old he weighed nine pounds.  We were told he may not live long enough to complete the adoption and bring him home.

 

 

This little guy should have a visual impairment, hearing impairment, feeding tube, seizures, never walk, never talk,  and have very low cognitive ability.   Shhhh!!!  Don't tell Jacob though he didn't get that memo!

Jacob didn't just live he is LIVING!!

 

 

 

 

Jacob is WALKING!!!!

 

 

 

 

Jacob is TALKING!!!



For the last two weeks during speech therapy Jacob has used his Dynavox to make independent purposeful choices.  Two weeks ago when it was time for his therapist to leave, Jacob, using his Dynavox, told his therapist goodbye.  This is a regular routine, but what he did next was all on his own!!  He then chose "I don't want you to go" and then "I want a hug"!!!  SERIOUSY!!!  He is already hitting on girls! 

Last week he was in therapy and my parents walked in the house for a visit.  Jacob immediately, using his Dynavox, told his therapist he was done.  He then navigated page to page and chose the picture for "FAMILY". 

Don't tell Jacob "HE WILL NEVER WALK"  or "HE CAN'T TALK" 

I think I will erase those phrases from my vocabulary

 

 

I could give many more examples of my kids defying the odds.  Want to know why I believe in miracles?  It's actually really simple.  I have a house full of living breathing miracles!  How could I not?



Reflecting Back

During my morning walk I was reflecting back on my life.  I don't have many regrets in life.  However, I do have one major regret that changed the course of my life.   My biggest regret was leaving the music program in college.  That one decision lead to many bad choices over several years.  I had a person that I trusted give me bad counsel.  I stopped singing.  I sold my flute.  Pretty much left music forever.  I regret letting that person influence me to walk away from a gift that God had given me to use for his glory.  I have regretted that decision almost daily to the point where I still have not fully recovered.  I let it take away one of the biggest joys I had in worship.   I still to this day cannot bring myself to sing.  Besides singing in the pew at church my voice is only heard in my head.  If I had a do over in life that is the one decision I would want to change.

I think I am talking about this now because two of my girls have been given beautiful natural gifts by God.  They are at an age now that they are wanting to develop those gifts more.  I don't want that joy to be stolen.  I am praying that God provides the finances needed for them to pursue their gifts. I am praying that God puts encouragers in their life to walk along with them.  I am praying that they never loose sight of the beautiful gift God has given them.  I am praying that they use those gifts for God's glory and worship. 

PLEASE DON'T LET SOMEONE TAKE AWAY YOUR GIFTS AND JOY

A Day in the Life of ME

Thought it would be fun to write snippets from a day in the life of ME! 

Grateful this morning the kids let me sleep to 7:00a.m.  WOOHOO!!!  Jacob has been congested so I have been "trying" to sleep on the couch holding him. 

Breakfast to everyone then clean table and floors.  Who knew such a mess could be made by eating a bowl of cereal.

Tried feeding Jacob but he was just not ready yet.  Changed diapers and put kids on potty.

Chatted online with three different adoptive moms all at the same time.  LOVE FACEBOOK MESSAGING!!

Therapist number #1 came and spent an hour and a half working with two kids.  While therapist was here Durable Medical Equipment company calls to apologize because they screwed up AGAIN!!  The are getting parts on order ASAP. 

Isaac falls down and scraps up his nose and gets a small cut. 

Therapist leaves, time to eat lunch.

Therapist number #2 arrives and spends two hours working with kids.  Meantime I am teaching younger kids in school room.

During all of this I am going back and forth helping two older girls with their school work.

Have heart to heart talk with child who has lied to me AGAIN.

Therapist leaves. Clean the kitchen from lunch.  Jacob finally eats something.

I run down to the pharmacy to pick up Jacob's food, which I was supposed to do on Friday but forgot :)

Child needs blood work done but that will have to wait until tomorrow.  Ran out of time today

Finally get a shower.  I won't tell you how many days it has been.

Hubby gets home. WOOHOO

Start dinner.

Dinner and celebrate Faith's birthday

Take daughter to church

Got Jacob to eat again.

Bath for little ones and put to bed.

Pick up daughter from church

Put rest of kids to bed.

Jacob ate again and put to sleep.

Worked on paperwork for three kids who need additional services.


Maybe tomorrow I can write down all the odd things that were said in our house.

Family Changes Everything

This is our Sera's referral video from 2009.  It breaks my heart when I watch it.  She was a very sad little girl.   She had been brought to the orphanage by her birth mother.  It was obvious that Sera had not been touched often.  She pulled away and cried when someone went to touch her.  She was very malnourished.

What breaks my heart even more is to think about what her life would have been had she not been "REDEEMED" through adoption.   Without corrective eyeglasses Sera could only see 4 inches in front of her.  She also had seven fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot.   Sera would have been considered "WORTHLESS" .    Sera's future would have been alone begging on the streets.

BUT

 

A

 

FAMILY

 

CHANGES

 

EVERYTHING
 

 

 *Photography by Nina Mullins Photography

 

 

Sera has a long road ahead of her.  We have no idea what her health will look like in the future.  She has a progressive kidney disease which could potentially lead to double kidney failure.  She will also continue to loose her vision.  There are so many unknowns in her future.  However, there is one thing that she will always have . . . .

 

FAMILY

 

WALKING

 

BESIDE

 

HER

 

ALL

 

THE

 

WAY

More Pictures from Photo Shoot

Are you ready for more pictures from the photo shoot???? 

 

 

 

All of these pictures were taken by Sandra Dee's Photography

 

 

 

GRACE

Grace now has a modeling facebook page.  Please stop by and "like" her page.

 

 

 

 

 

Miranda

 

 

 

 

Miranda now has a modeling facebook page.  Please stop by and "like" her page.